


see through, who are you?

by phanstarlight



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Danganronpa Another 2~The Moon of Hope and Sun of Despair~
Genre: Emotional Support Kasai, Lack of Suffixes, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Other characters mentioned - Freeform, SDRA2 Spoilers, post simulation, thank you linuj
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-06 00:03:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18839527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phanstarlight/pseuds/phanstarlight
Summary: everyone is trying to rebuild their lives together outside of the simulation and all of the horrors they lived. shinji does his best to live well, with yuki as his boyfriend. everything seems to be going well until shinji wakes up one night, alone.just how much has the former ultimate lucky student's been keeping from him?





	see through, who are you?

**Author's Note:**

> there's an inconsistent switch up between first and last names here, but i was mostly going for shinji calling people like hajime and yuki their first names because he's close to them (and emma because i don't feel right calling her magorobi) and the others by their last names since he isn't as close to them (i.e. mitsume and kagarin)
> 
> \- this takes place post simulation, with everyone who died in the game being alive irl and working together in order to get through the effects of the simulation (not sure if that includes mikado as an ally or enemy shaped yet, though kokoro is a friend here)  
> \- they're all adults (around the same age as teruya and rei are in the second game)

_"-hear me? i wanted to...sorry. i just want to be...for a little while longer. how do you feel if i...your eyes, why aren't they staying open...hey-_

_i failed you. they're all...i failed everyone. it's all my fault, my fault, my fault, my fault, **my fault-**!"_

 

 

_“AH!”_

 

shinji woke up in a cold sweat, breath heavy and rugged. eyes adjusting to the darkness of his bedroom, he finally caught his breath enough to sigh. it was that dream again...or nightmare, really. he’d been having it for a few days now and hadn’t thought too much of it but _god_  was it horrid. the unidentified person in his nightmare spoke a bit more every time - they were always void of emotion in some way or another which only served to unsettle him more each night.

 

shinji, being a man of truth and justice, had no problem talking about the nightmares he'd gotten after the simulation. the many times they'd stumbled on a dead body (chiebukuro's in particular replayed in his mind gruesomely), the horrid executions that followed and of course, his own death...he struggled with sleeping before because of that. he'd definitely gotten a lot better at managing them now and, with help from the kisaragi foundation, he didn't have nightmares about _then_  that much. shinji was eternally grateful to the kisaragi foundation for that.

 

starting to key in his bedroom slowly, nothing seemed out of place or different. the art on the wall that nijiue made for them was still hanging up proudly, though he couldn't see it very well right now. a few pieces of clothing cluttered the floor a bit, as usual; he'd clean that up in the morning. his fitbit was still on the bedside table beside him, turned off and waiting for him to resume his 'battle' against hajime. everything was exactly how he left it.

 

everything apart from-

 

ah, maeda wasn’t here again!

 

that was another aspect that seemed to reoccur with the nightmares; whenever he woke up, maeda wouldn’t be by his side like he was when they fell asleep together. after the game ended, everyone had remained close, for the bonds they made in the simulation were one of the only things they could consider real, if nothing else. on that note, the bond he and yuki had in the simulation...it wasn’t just friendship for them. he’d started off wanting yuki to have more confidence in himself (god knows the kid needed it) and be an overall big brother to the ginger. after a few exchanged kisses and awkward, fumbling confessions, things had definitely changed for the both of them. now, outside of the simulation and back in reality, shinji and yuki were building their lives back together and focusing on a future together, away from the bloody and brutal memories they shared. their apartment wasn’t particularly big but it was enough for the both of them - their friends always visited if they could.

 

back onto his boyfriend though...he wasn’t here again. this was becoming fairly common to shinji whenever he awoke these past few days and he didn’t think too much of it; yuki often had a much harder time falling asleep due to how much longer he’d been in the simulation, so the redhead simply wrote it off as his boyfriend just having gotten up for a glass of water or for the bathroom. shinji usually fell straight back to sleep so he didn’t really dote on it too much either way.

 

still, this had been happening for quite a few days now and something just didn’t feel right to him about all this.

 

was he worrying about this too much? probably.

 

when it came to yuki though, you had to worry a lot more. whilst he couldn’t really pinpoint why exactly, there was just something in the ginger’s off demeanour that, whenever it arose, unnerved him. sora (it was still okay to call her that, right? she didn't like being called taira anymore) carried the same view on his boyfriend too, whispering “keep an eye on him” in shinji’s ear the last time they met, before taking her leave.

 

...maybe his worries were justified then. after all, sora and yuki's friendship was on another level entirely.

 

sight now completely adjusted to their bedroom, shinji got up from the double bed. the redhead manoeuvred his way out of the bedroom and walked those few steps to their bathroom: no sign of yuki. his boyfriend was probably just in the kitchen getting a glass of water then. how healthy and manly of him, shinji smiled to himself.

 

their kitchen was connected to their living room so, naturally, he had to get through that first. turning on the light switch, shinji was greeted to the usual sight of the room. it was slightly cluttered with grocery bags they'd promised to clear away but that just made it theirs. there were also the photo frames on the walls of their friends, smiling as convincingly as they could; they were all overflowing with bravery and energy after everything that shinji couldn't help but feel motivated by them everyday.

 

"yuki?" he called out into living room, half expecting his boyfriend to pop out of nowhere behind him - that didn't happen. his confidence and pride faltered somewhat; even if he was still sleepy, his voice was _fairly_  loud. did yuki not hear him?

 

well, he'd just have to try again! yuki probably missed that call.

 

"yuki?" again, he was met with remote silence. something _definitely_  wasn't right. shinji rarely felt like this (maybe it was back in the power room or when he woke up in that cold, cold room after) but his body and mind just screamed utter _panic._

 

rushing into the kitchen, shinji wasted no time trying to turn on the light switch but then-

 

he froze.

 

blinking in a mixture of confusion and haziness (he hadn't gotten used to the dimly lit room here yet), he finally spotted his boyfriend stood with his back to him. the luckster had his grip on something in front of him, though he couldn't see what at this angle. finding his boyfriend should've been fortunate and helped his worries fade however, it proved to be the complete opposite. nothing about this scene seemed right.

 

"...yuki?" he repeated, marginally quieter this time around. something in the back of his mind prevented shinji from entering the room fully, so he rested his hold on the doorframe.

 

yuki didn't respond.

 

the ginger didn't say anything, nor did he make any indication that he'd even heard shinji say anything. he was just

 

frozen

 

and

 

unmoving.

 

*this wasn't right at all.*

 

he chanced to turn the light switch on, hoping to get some sort of reaction out of yuki. it didn't come. no words, no movement, nothing.

 

taking a heavy breath, the former firefighter made his way to his boyfriend's side.

 

looking at him closer didn't soothe his fear in the least, but it at least confirmed a few facts to him. yuki was grasping at a glass of water in both hands, filled half-way just like he liked it. he was here to get a drink then, that was confirmed. of course though, there was still the concern that he hadn't seemed to drink any of it; in fact, the ginger was merely staring down at the glass, expressionless and immobile.

 

"yuki...?" the lack of response didn't shock him anymore, but only unsettled him greater. even standing right beside him, his boyfriend wasn't moving or reacting. he repeated a more firm and concerned "maeda." for good measure but nothing came of it. yuki was right beside him yet, it was like he wasn't there at all.

 

shinji paused, gaze darting between his boyfriend and the glass of water in his hands. he didn't try to call out to him again. all that filled the room was the faint ticking of the clock in the living room, serving as a reminder that this wasn't a dream. other than that though, there was nothing. no sound or movement from yuki. no questions from shinji. no sounds from outside.

 

just

 

a

 

whole

 

load

 

of

 

nothing-

 

the glass dropped out of yuki's hands.

 

in an instant glass shards and water fell onto the kitchen floor, shattering impact resounding through the entire apartment; shinji had to stop himself from bouncing back in shock, only letting out a stunned yelp. thankfully he had socks on (gifted from the twins) and the glass seemed to fall away from him; yuki didn't have the same luxury although all of the glass just... surrounded his feet. maeda's ultimate luck tended to work at the weirdest of times.

 

the redhead's mind worked in overdrive: his main priority now was getting yuki to safety and trying to figure out what the hell was going on with him.

 

as carefully as he could, shinji slowly willed yuki out of the kitchen, mindful of avoiding the glass and water on the floor. the luckster remained impassive and silent, though he complied with shinji's gentle pushing at his shoulder. the couple ended up on the sofa, with the former firefighter gently pulling down yuki to sit with him.

 

"maeda." warily, the ginger lifted his head to look at him; a response, finally. shinji could've smiled before he took a closer look at his boyfriend's face. yuki was looking at him, yes, but he wasn't _looking_  at him. said man seemed to be looking through him entirely, eyes glazed over and void of any emotion. he'd never seen yuki like this, ever. even in the power room on that day, his boyfriend's expression was complete terror and fear. this was nothing of the sort.

 

a part of him wanted to phone mitsume and ask for her professional advice, though he doubted it was the time now. he also didn't feel comfortable leaving his boyfriend alone when he was like this.

 

whatever _this_  was.

 

"maeda," he must've sounded like a parrot now, repeating his boyfriend's name over and over, "it's me, shinji. you there?" whilst the dazed and confused look was still there on his face, yuki had definitely seemed to hear something...whether he knew it was shinji or not, be didn't know.

 

the clock's ticking bounded through the room.

 

"i..." the redhead's gaze snapped up, both relieved and shocked the luckster was speaking. much like the look in his eyes, yuki's voice was dazed and distant, like he still didn't register exactly where he was, or _who_  he was.

 

...hadn't one of the other's mentioned something about this?

 

they rarely spoke about what happened after the fourth post-trial, for yuki always grew increasingly uncomfortable. shinji didn't want to pry either, or ask around. as far as he knew, nikkei had confessed a bunch of things (what? he didn't know) and had then gotten executed for trying to kill sannoji. they didn't ever talk about the _whys_  or void's motives. it was just as it is.

 

still, he was almost certain nijiue had accidentally slipped up around the time their group woke from the simulation. something...something about void's motives and resurrecting someone. the artist clammed up immediately after but the comment still weighed on his mind.

 

did it mean anything? yuki's demeanor had definitely seemed so far removed from the yuki maeda that he had known in the simulation and reality. his boyfriend wasn't like himself right now, though...he didn't want to rush to conclusions. that wasn't the way kasai shinji lived.

 

attention focused on his boyfriend again, shinji hoped and waited for him to speak again. genuinely, yeah, he was kind of scared with whatever was going on but he needed yuki to be okay, or at least get an idea of what this all was.

 

"...we," yuki spoke again, glazed over gaze still staring straight through the redhead, "we had a promise."

 

that stumped shinji completely. whilst hearing his boyfriend speak a full sentence and disclose more clues to him was something he was extremely thankful for, he hadn't the faintest clue as to what he was referring to.

 

a promise? the two of them had definitely held promises between them both, none of them broken...if he remembered correctly. shinji himself was a person who strived to keep everyone happy and upbeat, which meant breaking promises were _absolutely_  unforgivable! surely, yuki wasn't referring to anything between them, right?

 

"a promise?" he cracked a smile, "to who, maeda?" he remained with yuki's last name, understanding the severity of the situation even if he didn't understand _this_  at all.

 

"to her." the response was blunt. yuki's expression changed to one of concentration, though it was still clear that he wasn't quite _there._

 

"who is she?" shinji asked, hand now resting on yuki's right thigh.

 

his boyfriend hesitated momentarily, before he lowered his voice and answered, " _taira akane._ "

 

taira akane? that was-

 

"you mean sora?" despite his boyfriend clearly not acknowledging his existence fully, shinji still shot him a confused look, "she doesn't like being called that, maeda. she's-"

 

"i made a promise with taira akane." yuki repeated, unsettling shinji entirely, "i was..." he trailed off.

 

he didn't think he could get any more worried for yuki and his mental state but now he knew something was _completely_  wrong. yuki would never refer to sora as taira akane. nobody did. not even the kisaragi foundation chanced it, respecting that she wasn't that person anymore. shinji didn't understand much behind it, assuming that maybe this ultimate maid was the person void were after...though that was seeming less and less like a possibility. after all, in the simulation, yomiuri was going after-

 

"i made a promise to taira akane." yuki said again, repeating it to himself more than anything, "i was supposed to protect her. i was supposed to protect _them._ "

 

that struck shinji, making him freeze entirely where he sat. yuki's gaze was still dazed and full of lethargy, but his tone of voice had changed entirely. rather than sounding sleepy or lost, he sounded _empty._

 

just

 

a

 

whole

 

load

 

of

 

nothing.

 

just like the voice in his nightmares.

 

"you..." shinji tried to steel himself, "did you break that promise, maeda?"

 

immediately, yuki straightened up. he'd reacted at that, but it didn't seem to be in a positive way.

 

"hey." he continued, "who...are you?"

 

this was a stupid question. of course, the person sitting in front of him was his beloved boyfriend, yuki maeda, former ultimate lucky student and one of the five survivors. he was just happy, shy, intelligent yuki-

 

_**"utsuro."** _

 

if time could stop.

 

all train of thought stopped in shinji's mind. no words would form, and all he could do was stare at yuki(?) with complete disturbance.

 

utsuro... something about that name made shinji's body react in a way he couldn't describe. he kept his eyes locked on his boyfriend, still wide open in shock, and repressed the urge to throw up. he'd never heard that name before, he was sure of it. things had definitely shifted, both in the air and in his own mind at just the utterance of the name utsuro...

 

so what was it?

 

who...why was that name making him feel this way?

 

"m-maeda-"

 

"i-i'm utsuro..." yuki repeated, eyes now rooted down, "i...i...i'm!"

 

the next thing he knew, yuki had began shaking quite violently, eyes welling with what he guessed were tears. his boyfriend had quickly grown seemingly inconsolable and was now talking aloud to himself...or rather, _utsuro_  was.

 

utsuro.

 

the person sannoji was so allegedly obsessed with before they-

 

"i promised her! i was supposed to keep h-her safe and i...i...i...what have i done," the last phrase was mumbled incessantly aloud before the ginger practically screamed, "it's all my fault!"

 

was yuki having a mental breakdown? no, this had to be something else. everyone's mental health was rather messed up after they'd gotten out of the simulation but symptoms wouldn't just form like this so suddenly...he thought so, anyway.

 

would yuki have not said something if this wasn't sudden? surely, either he or mitsume would've talked it out to him-

 

looking up at the ex-lucky student, he felt lost. the boy sitting in front of him was acting nothing like the awkward and happy-go-lucky kid he fell in love with in the simulation, or the friendly, loving man he'd moved in with after everything. everything from the frantic shaking, wracking his entire body, to the incoherent whimpers and mumbling...it wasn't the maeda yuki he knew. it didn't suit the ginger haired boy at all.

 

he just wasn't himself.

 

unless...

 

utsuro. all of this yuki was going through, was this _his_  doing?

 

a glossy look, full of everything and nothing at the same time, “i...oh god, what about _them!_  i just…”

 

the redhead tried to crack a comforting smile, “y-yuki? what’s goin’ on? i...let me help you-”

 

“why would someone like _you_  help me?” he was still shaking, but in that instant, the glossy and teary eyes switched to a glare.  he snarled, "you know _nothing_  about me."

 

shinji remained silent, a mixture of shock and complacency. he tried not to show it on his face too much as "yuki" continued.

 

"...i hurt _her_  back then. i made misjudgements on my luck and hurt her." a split moment pause, "i didn't regret it before. nobody ever felt bad for what they did to _me_ , so why should i be sorry?  they're the ones that made my life hell but...but i didn't want to hurt her, or the others...i-"

 

he stopped speaking abruptly. yuki shut his eyes momentarily, facial expression now one of frustration and contemplation. when he opened his eyes again, the trembling started up again. he'd stopped glaring now and once again had a look akin to a terrified animal in the wild.

 

frowning, shinji whispered out a careful, "yuki...?" said boy was looking up at him, though there was still a strong nothingness there, amongst the fear.

 

tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock.

 

deep breaths.

 

a choked up whimper.

 

"k-kasai?" _he said his name_ , shinji took this as a somewhat good sign, "i...h-help me. it's, i-it's not me...i'm not..."

 

"hey hey, maeda, i'm here!" he moved his hands to rest them on yuki's shoulders, grasping quite firmly at them (the difference in their builds was laughable, really), "what do you need?"

 

yuki's sobbing continued before he got out what shinji could only interpret as "there's someone else in my mind." the confession would've stumped him even more, had it not been for this mention of utsuro. that utsuro person must be the other person trying to take over his mind like this, driving his boyfriend to this. the name sent some sort of uncomfortable yet knowing feeling in his gut, but he couldn't recall why. all he knew for now was that this utsuro person had made a sudden appearance in yuki's mind and was now taking over.

 

he'd think about the finer details later. for now, he had to worry about yuki, the love of his life.

 

(void's final goal seemed unsettling clear to him now, he thought.)

 

"maeda, maeda, can you hear me?" the ginger let out a wail of some sort, prompting shinji to continue, "it's me, your boyfriend. d'ya know where you are?" yuki didn't answer.

 

in this kinda situation...what was he supposed to do?

 

yuki wasn't exactly hearing him. no, that's wrong. _yuki_  wasn't here at all. the person in front of him was utsuro. just thinking that made shinji uncomfortable. his boyfriend was clearly out of it but this was much more than that. he was really convinced he was this other person...no longer his yuki.

 

gaze settling back on yuki's shaking form, he realised what he had to do.

 

"yuki, hey, listen to me,"  the lack of response didn't phase him anymore, though yuki had seemed to acknowledge him, "we're at /our/ home right now, in /our/ living room. this apartment belongs to _you_ , maeda yuki."

 

the luckster continued to sob, whole body shaking erratically. shinji wasn't too sure if him reinforcing the fact yuki was still, well...yuki, was helping at all but he wasn't going to let down now. his boyfriend had definitely reacted to the mention of his actual name so he took this as a good sign. he still hadn't a proper clue what was going on but that didn't matter; shinji had to continue.

 

**he had to get yuki back.**

 

"d'ya remember what i said to you last night, yuki?" a somewhat reassuring smile on his face, "we said good night and i said _i love you, yuki._  remember that? i meant it."

 

if his boyfriend was going to say something, he stopped himself. yuki's shaking was still violent, but his sobbing had quietened down a tad. that was a positive - shinji was certain of it!

 

he thought to himself for a second. maybe reminding yuki of some of his own memories and moments as himself would help?

 

"hey, yuki?" a breathy chuckle, "remember last time we saw emma? it's cute she still signs things for you...making it out to her _luckiest fan, maeda yuki._ "

 

a pause.

 

"oh right, didn't we say we we're gonna visit yomiuri and ootori tomorrow? you always love seeing them, don't you, yuki?"

 

 _(_ truthfully, yuki enjoyed seeing everyone though. so did he. yomiuri was still somewhat egotistical but he didn't mind seeing him too much, especially since ootori balanced him out so well. shinji never held him to what happened in the simulation. yuki didn't seem to either. _)_

 

yuki's gaze was still slightly glazed over but the sobbing had stopped. the mumbling back and forth to himself (or what seemed to be arguing with himself) had ended too, though he wasn't quite _there_  yet. the person in front of him still wasn't...maeda-like. there was a lack of emotion behind his posture and eyes that still struck his heart.

 

"you're doing really well, yuki! just keep listening to me, alright?" shinji placed his grip onto yuki's shoulders again, holding him firmly in place to stop the excessive rocking, "are you sleepy at all? you're definitely not a night owl, yuki. you're slowly turning into hashimoto, you know!"

 

this was yielding positive results! the shaking had become less erratic, with yuki seeming to be trying to focus on shinji's comments. reminding the boy of his commitments as maeda yuki was bringing him back to reality, he smiled exhaustedly to himself. just a little more now.

 

"what else can i talk about..." the ex firefighter mumbled to himself before the brightest smile he could muster made itself known, "oh, hey! d'ya remember when we visited kabuya and sora the other day, yuki? kabuya made us those _really_  damn good cocktails and-"

 

yuki's sudden hand movements made shinji stop talking completely. eyes no longer focused on the redhead, yuki brought his hands up to his own face. staring at them blankly, his expression changed again.

 

the blank stare was replaced with abhorrent terror. the previous sobbing and scared look paled in comparison to whatever _this._

 

"m-maeda-?"

 

his eyes shut, then snapped open at shinji's voice. in one swift motion, he'd recoiled entirely from his boyfriend's hold on his shoulders, his own hands curling in on themselves and nails digging into them. it had to hurt badly yet he continued for god knows how long until, hands trembling weakly and pupils dilating heavily-

 

yuki screamed.

 

survival instinct - shinji didn't think twice before tackling his boyfriend into a strong embrace. hold on both of yuki's wrists, wrapping the smaller boy's arms around his own bigger build, the former firefighter focused all of his strength on making sure the other boy couldn't escape his hug, for his own good. when the sudden pain of nails being pressed into his back hit him, his only option was to ignore it. fuck, it hurt and hurt so terribly (had yuki always been this strong? or, was this all utsuro's strength and malice?) but he kept the embrace up.

 

the scream was nothing short of horrific. it reminded shinji of the people he’d saved in the past from burning houses and sanctuaries ablaze, yelling amongst the scorching hot fires, their lives in great, indescribable peril. it also brought back agonizing memories of the simulation, the screams and shrieks of his classmates whenever they found a body resounding in his mind. a lot of memories that he’d rather repress flashed in his mind of all of these situations of pure danger and terror - this was different though.

 

traumatic - that was the only way he could think to describe yuki’s screaming. it was so raw, so _animalistic_  even, yet filled with such unrestrained fright and terror. the severity of the situation didn’t allow for him to react properly but _god,_  shinji felt sick to his stomach.

 

seconds, minutes, moments passed - the screaming continued. though hushed by the ex firefighter’s chest, yuki showed no signs of letting down. the discomfort his boyfriend was inflicting on his back made him grimace, but all shinji could realistically do was bear it for now. he was getting hurt though it was just yuki’s nails right now digging into his shirt and back. if he were to let go, he would likely start inflicting pain on himself again. shinji tightened his grip, despite yuki’s prolonged screaming and clawing at him and his violent attempts to get out of his boyfriend’s grip until-

 

yuki's eyes closed shut.

 

silence.

 

nothing.

 

just the two of them

 

and the ticking of that clock

 

tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock. tick-

 

"...kasai?" muffled into shinji's chest, the sound of yuki's voice again was a miracle come true. almost immediately, the former firefighter placed all of his grasp onto yuki's sides, pulling him away from his chest so he could see the luckster's face again.

 

pale brown eyes met with light yellow.

 

he blinked once, twice, in confusion.

 

"...maeda?" he had to be sure.

 

yuki continued to stare at him momentarily before letting out an almost inaudible "it's me." it sounded like he was trying to convince himself too. arms now resting by his side, yuki was no longer seeming ready to hurt himself, or shinji for that matter.

 

shinji released his hold on his boyfriend slowly, a part of him concerned that yuki may switch at any moment. the former lucky student didn’t _appear_  to be at risk like he was before, but looks could be deceiving. he still didn’t have much definite knowledge on what this entire happening was. now was probably the time to think about it.

 

"it's you, yuki." shinji parroted, mindful of how the other was moving closer to him on the sofa. yuki's expression was no longer void, and now there seemed to be a whole lot of _something_  there. guilt? loss? gratitude? yuki wasn't a black and white person - his emotions mixed and mingled, though he was always some degree of happy, he thought.

 

the luckster repeated this, mumbling assurances to himself that he _was_  indeed maeda yuki, before something in him seemed to shift again. yuki's eyes suddenly shot back up to shinji's, meeting his boyfriend's gaze once again - he looked like a deer in the headlights.

 

perhaps he wanted to say something, but no words came out. yuki just continued to look at him with such raw _terror_  in his eyes.

 

"are..." shinji trailed off, choosing his words carefully, "are you okay, yuki?" he remained casual but a part of him still kept his guard up. he'd been in a lot of situations as both a firefighter and a victim of that game when the situation suddenly changed for the worse...though yuki suffering alone was new territory.

 

a pause.

 

tick. tock.

 

the ginger's posture relaxed slightly, "...i'm doing better now. thank you." he sounded so exhausted and still rather scared but he was definitely back to being maeda. that let shinji relax a bit too.

 

wordlessly, yuki laced his hands with shinji's. the redhead gave his boyfriend's hand an encouraging squeeze, as he usually did.

 

"i'm tired." came the lucky student's sudden comment, "we should go back to bed." it was said with the luckster's usual charm and (in shinji's opinion) cuteness.

 

still though.

 

the former firefighter nodded, before shooting yuki a serious look, "we need to talk about _that_  though." if he hadn't become so used to focusing on his little mannerisms, he would've missed yuki's slight flinch at that. he definitely seemed to remember at least _some_  of what was going on, he thought.

 

he didn't get a response straight away. just a blank stare.

 

just the stare.

 

tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock-

 

"okay."

 

a deep breath in.

 

"i need to tell you...a lot, kasai." yuki finally got out, expression a mixture of hesitancy and sudden confidence, " _but_...can we do it in the morning? it's...heavy. and i've been keeping it in for a _while_."

 

shinji hummed in agreement; that was reasonable. it did scare him that yuki had been holding _something_  so heavy and burdensome to himself for so long, especially considering everything he'd said when he was...like _that_.

 

maybe this was him soon to find out what exactly happened after the fourth chapter, and confirm void's ultimate goal.

 

utsuro...what was he-

 

"let's go then!" tired smile making its fortunate return, yuki pulled himself and shinji up off the sofa. considering their difference in build, shinji was kinda impressed.

 

(yuki wasn't lanky, but he sure as hell wasn't as swole as the former firefighter. the kid did physically cringe whenever hajime took the two of them to the gym, if that meant anything.)

 

the couple made their way back to their bedroom, successfully dodging any mess on the floor (they'd _definitely_  need to clear that up before visiting ootori and yomiuri.) getting back was an easy enough task.

 

as soon as they fell back into bed, shinji was suddenly reminded of the shattered glass he’d left on the kitchen floor. he debated quickly excusing himself to clean the safety hazard up but reluctantly brushed it from his mind. his main priority right now was maeda, so he made a mental reminder to clean it up tomorrow before he went on his morning run with hajime.

 

“mhm…” the ex luckster hummed out, smiling sleepily at his boyfriend, “‘ts warmer in here…” that elicited a laugh from shinji who, after the night they'd had, didn't think he'd be hearing from himself.

 

wrapping his arms around the smaller boy's torso, shinji brought them both into a cuddling position. there was no reluctancy or hesitancy from the other - yuki practically melted into the embrace. it was clear from the expression on his face that he was thankful for shinji's actions, then and earlier. the light had returned to his brown eyes and whatever emptiness driving his actions before seemed almost nonexistent.

 

a part of shinji couldn't believe what'd happened.

 

he was there though, so he knew it had. he wouldn't be able to imagine something so terrifying to watch happening to the person he loved.

 

"g'night yuki." he whispered out, voice muffled into said boy's shoulder.

 

"g'night yuki." he whispered out, voice muffled into said boy's shoulder.

 

"goodnight shinji." yuki hummed. if they were looking for some sort of normality after everything, this was it. kagarin had mentioned in passing how the couple just seemed to _fit_  with each other and god, was it true. their personalities were rather different but even so, things just seemed to work. snuggled into his boyfriend’s shoulder, shinji couldn’t help but let out a sigh, contemplating to himself like that. they really did work well together as a couple, which was probably why he knew whatever explanation yuki would have for the morning wouldn’t be one he’d like...if the strained positivity and calm in his voice was anything to go by - he knew that tone well enough. still, whatever he was he was certain they could get through it.

 

both cuddled up to each other, yuki and shinji eventually managed to fall asleep together. shinji wasn’t plagued with anymore nightmares that night, staying blissfully asleep with yuki remaining in his arms. the couple slept well that night, drifting off rather happily; everything felt at peace.

 

tomorrow's conversation would change everything.

**Author's Note:**

> i just love everyone in this damned fangame and i want them all to be okay :(
> 
>  
> 
> cya


End file.
